Indeed

“If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.”

Especially if he is boxed in and has no choice. Even if he prefers otherwise.

Consumer bypassing

When in doubt, sad or unhappy, consume.

Pseudo-Cleft revisited

Back to the pseudo-cleft sentence with wh-clauses, geez they annoy me.

It has become a torrent of addictive shit writing.

Every single title of just about every article written starts with a Why, or a How, or similar, and not a question mark in sight.

Correct – the author is the arbiter of truth and you the reader is about to be lectured.

Their thinking; if you are led like a lamb to the slaughter then you are more likely to have your tiny pea brain converted to the glorious truth as espoused.

“Why the pseudo-cleft sentence should be banned”

Nic

There’s a key difference between Nicola and Joanne.

Joanne was loyal to a fault, and mad as a hatter. Nicola’s love and devotion has a great big (sane) asterix against it that she doesn’t even know exists. Basically my role here is subject to my ongoing good humour and good behaviour.

Any prolonged period of depression or poor humour on my part and she’s out. For sure.

It’s probably better this way than the other. Mainly because the other comes with all sorts of other issues that aren’t worth the pain. Also the asterix keeps me on my toes; I don’t like that but it’s probably for the better.

The odd part of this arrangement is that she doesn’t have to live with an asterix on my part, so it’s one sided.

This only works because of her basic good humour and disposition. On the other hand I struggle with the same at times. So it works. Although I do find it tiring because in essence I can never relax.

And she lets me know too. She keeps reminding me that I’m provisional. This is the very last time I’m exposing myself like this.

Grief

When in doubt, get even. It’s not good karma necessarily, but it may be that the fuckwits will learn more this way and eventually thank you. Or not.

Children

Back to forecasting; most business disagreements centre around variance in future prognostications between the warring parties.

Rarely after the war is over do the players review what actually happened as compared to their forecasts, so adjusting their faith in their crystal balls.

They prefer to keep throwing their balls at each other.

Pierre

When it became clear to Pierre that I’m not in for either the money or the glory, he got very confused. What else is there after all?

Beer Goggles

Very sophisticated. Drink this beer and there, by the grace of God, go you.

Shakespeare

It’s a subject that I could never tire of.

I’m not sure why.

But there’s a lot to learn in this.

Best night ever…

And

What have I learned?

Well, coalitions of love are worth their weight in gold.

Until they’re not.

Worth noting

“Hastings is struggling to keep up with demand. He says ostriches aren’t the smartest animals and rearing them requires hands-on work that keeps him busy from dawn to dusk.”

Pithy

When told that Phil wasn’t sure that [insert female name] was ‘the one’, Noel noted that ‘he’d know’.

$20

With reference to the rock lobster, Genevieve asks me why the black man has a six pack.

The internet has no idea.

TT

I’ve done it twice at least, maybe thrice. And to be honest, I’m not sure about the third one which itself a condemnation.

Undermining and general cuntyness to my bosses, that is.

Noel, Malcolm and maybe Bill. I’m not sure about Bill. Years and jobs apart, the other two are Thomsons by some odd coincidence; something that I just noticed years after the facts.

All Kate’s are cunts, and their families. But I digress.

Are all coincidences odd? Is that a tautology. Is a normal coincidence a oxymoron? Is the antonym of tautology oxymoron? Should there be a comma in that last sentence? But I digress even further.

So Thorsten is just behaving like I have done previously. Unwitting, unknowing and without (much) premeditated malice, but with malice nonetheless. Fully indemnified by his quasi rationale belief in my hypocrisy and his own delusional lack of the same.

It matters not how I react to him. What matters is that I don’t react as did my former lieges. They were destructive in their revenge and generated the karma they deserved. And thus there was no generational growth. Our duty is not to ourselves but to the next generations in all their types.

We must not pass on the bad. We must recognise it in ourselves and at the very least figure out how not pass it on, even if we ourselves are fully inflicted.

Generosity of spirit, that is the key. Even if the recipient doesn’t deserve it in any universe.

I must endeavour not to do the obvious and not be myself.

This is very comforting.

Richard Said

Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;
Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes
Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth,
Let’s choose executors and talk of wills:
And yet not so, for what can we bequeath
Save our deposed bodies to the ground?
Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s,
And nothing can we call our own but death
And that small model of the barren earth
Which serves as paste and cover to our bones.
For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d;
All murder’d: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a king
Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin
Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king!
Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood
With solemn reverence: throw away respect,
Tradition, form and ceremonious duty,
For you have but mistook me all this while:
I live with bread like you, feel want,
Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus,
How can you say to me, I am a king?

No pity mate. You mistook yourself as you’ve admitted. Now we have the pleasure of seeing you punished for your vanity and greed, and general cuntiness. We think they call it karma.

However in saying that we generate our own karma. Our lack of compassion and forgiveness marks us as cunty hypocrites. The very thing that gave you fuel in the first place.

Qube

I don’t love every concept in this blog. But there’s very few that I’d go to the mat for. However together they guide me usefully towards my non-purpose.

Would I turn them over to an editor in the context of mining them for a book? Probably not unless I’ve completely failed in my task, either dead or alive.

Bezos

Me thinks Trump and his minions may have pulled a thread that they can’t unwind. The beginning of the end.

Vagina

So God had seven days, eh? Well a whole day was spent puzzling over the vagina.

In the end, the vagina turned out be a bit of a Heath Robinson. In Bauhaus terms, a triumph of function over form.

And it’s got a lot of function at that, when you think about it properly.

You

When a spouse complains “that you’re never around” or “you travel half the time”, what does it mean?

Firstly, that you travel at least a day a fortnight. Second, that you don’t feel the need to apologise for this. Third, you probably look forward to the time not being nagged at. Fourth, you’re hitched to a mad person that you should leave immediately.

After all, what’s the point of complaining that someone is never around if you then go and be a cunt to them when they are around? Therein lies the tip of the madness iceberg.

Nic

I think the reason that Nic and I have such a good relationship is that we have a remarkable overlap of values.

And they just happen to be a very accepting set of values as well.

Plus she’s gorgeous.

Values

The age old question; you say I’m a narcissist, I say you’re fucking mad.

The difference is rooted in values.

With one set of values certain behaviors can only be explained by narcissism.

With another set of values, you’re a fucking judgey moron.

I strongly prefer my values.

Sii (sic)

When someone says “the only concern I have is….”; what they really mean is ” I hate the whole thing”.

Funk

[scene] Qantas lounge Melbourne. 5am. Everyone looks weirdly funky, odd. It’s like they’re trying really hard to both fit in and stand out at the same time but because of their madness, which they are wearing on their sleeves, they’re doing a really shit job at it. The result; twilight zone.

Or it’s just me. Maybe the observer had the problem.

Occam’s Razor would suggest the latter.

Dad

My dad said he was simply letting Vivian destroy the kitchen at will “until he gets bored with it”.

Further he had a name for this; “saturation training”.

Well fuck me, who knew my dad has his own hidden school of philosophy going on?

Brexit

Interesting idea for trade tariff negotiations, sans any negotiators.

Just make a broad announcement that import tariffs are zero for all reciprocating sources of categories of goods, from anywhere.

Or, just make a broad announcement that import tariffs are matched for all reciprocating sources of categories of goods, from anywhere.

Then the reciprocating country could just pick whatever tariff level it wanted, and it would be matched.

Devilishly simple. And it puts the negotiators and economists out of a job.

Risk Management

I guess people that are over a hundred are likely to die tomorrow?

Fuckwits

Worse mall ever…

Deluxe Fat Separator

A number of quasi-homophones that no one has previously connected:

Cargo cults: used in anthropology

Isomorphic mimicry: used in economics

Spiritual bypassing: used in psychology
Postdictive criterion validity: in psychometrics

All based on the quaint idea that if you copy the habits of others, there by the grace of God you will follow.

Def

Cryptocurrency: a transfer of wealth from the stupid to the cunts.

Legals

An interesting bet each way, in order to achieve nowt.

Try this out: I acknowledge the owners of the 7 eleven that I just robbed as the former custodians of the money now in my hands. Thanks guys!

13

Entitled, “Every successful relationship is successful for the same exact reasons” here is a 13 line summary of the 50 page diatribe.

1. Be together for the right reasons
2. Have realistic expectations about relationships and romance
3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect
4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts
5. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals
6. Give each other space
7. You and your partner will grow and change in unexpected ways; embrace it
8. Get good at fighting
9. Get good at forgiving
10. The little things add up to big things
11. Sex matters… a LOT
12. Be practical, and create relationship rules
13. Learn to ride the waves
But why share such bullshit? It’s not as though people can change themselves. There’s no “faking it till you make it” in relationships; they expose you for who you really are. 13 pointless points.

The only point that mattered in this article is that healthy people make healthy relationships. The rest follows from that. If you’re both healthy you don’t need rules. You know how to treat people and how to regulate your emotions. If one or both partners are fucked in the head then no rules in the world are gonna help.